WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

The appearance of Tommy’s long-lost dad Terry in Weatherfield got me thinking about other ‘long-lost’ family members that have suddenly appeared without thought or foremention at the door of an unsuspecting relative on the street. 

Stella is the latest in a long line dreamed up by the writers to fill a hole where another has left (in this case two pairs of boots to fill with the departure of Liz and Becky). When she turned up as the new feisty, blonde landlady of the Rovers (sound familiar?) nobody would have suspected she was harbouring a dark and awful secret. Many, many, many years ago, when she was very young, she had slept with ... Les Battersby! Oh and a little less shockingly she had abandoned her baby daughter Leanne-  leaving her to be brought up by Les ‘Neanderthol’ Battersby. Thirty years on and with a life filled with teenage marriage, divorce, abortion, terrible streaks, prostitution and ... (well you get the picture), Leanne isn’t best pleased when Stella announces that she’s finally back to play mother hen. But, in true Corrie style, after a rocky start all is forgotten; mainly because Leanne’s only friend Carla sleeps with her husband and she hasn’t got anywhere else to go apart from the Rovers back room. Lucky Leanne also got a new long-lost sister thrown in to boot in the form of big-boobied  Eva – double whammy! 

Last year, in scenes akin to ‘Who Do You Think You Are’, Ken managed to unearth a whole long-lost family in the form of posh toffs Lawrence, a long-lost son – who swiftly disowned his crossword-puzzler father - and conman grandson James, who managed to swindle thousands from born-again Christian lesbian Sophie Webster in a soup kitchen scam. James gave Ken a bash on the head and was never to be heard of or mentioned again. Where Ken is concerned he is best off sticking to the family that he has already got. Murderer Tracey, alcoholic Peter, pottery loving Deidre, who blatantly can’t stand him, and pushed from pillar to post curly haired Simon – surely with this lot he’s got enough on his hands?! 

Back in 2009, Fawlty Towers’ Manuel entered The Kabin wanting more from Norris than his lemon bonbons. Manuel had been living in Australia for the past 100 years and was back in Manchester to make amends with his long-lost brother Norris because he was dying from a brain tumour.  Unfortunately, Norris blamed his sibling (inexplicably as it turns out)for his mothers death and spurned him to the point that he gave up and left, breaking Emily and Rita’s heart in the process. Manuel, or Ramsay as he was known in the Street, died on the plane back to Australia from said brain tumour, leaving the embittered newsagent £175,000 in the process. I think we could all do with a long-lost relative like that! In some touching scenes Norris then posthumously discovered that it was actually his mother that was to blame for the family rift, but sadly it was too late.  

Gail McIntyre/Tilsley/Platt/Hillman met her long-lost father in 2008, Ted. After revealing he was gay he then befriended ‘intellectual’ Ken Barlow causing Blanche to believe that her son-in-law was also gay because they shared a common interest in literature. Humourous storyline over, Ted then gave Gail away at her wedding to Joe and swiftly disappeared and has never been heard of or mentioned again - not even when she was up in court for Joe's murder ... very strange.